Timecrafters: The Treasure of Pirate's Cove - A Fun Premise for Kids that Overworks Itself

Brigette, Josh, Hedge, and Chip stumble upon a treasure map

Growing up in North Carolina, we were taught in school about a subject that would probably make other kids jealous: we learned about pirates. Children seem to have an adoration for the historical barbarians that may or may not have said things like “”Aarrr, me bucko” or forced people to walk the plank. From blockbuster films to ever popular costumes to special events at Disneyworld, the swashbuckling adventure of a pirate’s life continues to capture kids’ imaginations. 

Enter director Rick Spalla - backed by writing duo Jeffrey Butscher & Chip Fraser - with the idea for a new children’s franchise called Timecrafters, which one can assume will be a fun way for kids to view different time periods, have some laughs, and maybe even learn something along the way. This first adventure, titled The Treasure at Pirate’s Cove, seems like an easy enough sell to kids. The setup involves a rough and dirty crew of actual pirates, led by Geoffrey Pistol (Eric Balfour), who are thrown forward through time to the modern day. 

The pirates are searching for - what else? - a treasure map. But the map just so happens to be in the possession of a bunch of kids - Josh (Casey Simpson), Brigette (McKinley Blehm), Hedge (Connor Cain), and Chip (Lucas Jaye, who just starred in the excellent Driveways, which you should go watch). That’s a fun enough premise, and to the film’s credit, there is indeed a mix of swashbuckling action and silly comedic scenarios. A scene involving the local sheriff (Steve Demartino) believing the pirate crew to be nothing more than a bunch of drunks is pretty funny, only topped by a moment where they grow impatient with a fortune teller machine. 

Denise Richards in Timecrafters

But Timecrafters quickly bogs itself down with an onslaught of other characters and subplots, including Josh’s mother, Victoria (Denise Richards), attempting to stage a theater production (and both she and her son are coming to terms with the loss of the man of the family), and the sinister Professor Ratcliffe (Lew Temple). Ratcliffe is described as having “a variety of agendas”, which is a mild way of putting it. There’s just too much going on at Pirate’s Cove. What begins as a simple story about pirates out of time turns into an interdimensional battle with cannons, fireworks, a maelstrom, an evil scientist, and a bunch of kids caught in the middle. Oh, and Malcolm McDowell is there.

Lew Temple in Timecrafters

The issue here is that by throwing in so much, the film loses sight of its many characters. It’s hard to decipher any kind of actual arc for anyone, and it’s even unclear whether it’s supposed to be about the pirates or the kids. The movie is aiming for a Goonies type of vibe, and at one point the music mimics Stranger Things, but it misses the vital coming-of-age themes found in those stories. There’s not enough personality put into the characters to make them interesting or memorable, and what shallow attempts there are come off as troubling stereotypes - the big kid likes to eat and the Asian kid is smart and bookish. 

Many of Timecrafters’ scenes feel awkwardly paced and tedious, save for the brief appearances of the mayor (Herbert Russell) and his son Byron (Gavin Magnus), who have the exact kind of energy that’s needed in a movie that includes lines like “Boo ya!” or “Don’t mind if I dino-do!”. The film still has its moments where the cast is able to inject life into it, the costumes are great, and the setting of Pirate’s Cove - filmed on-location in Mendocino, California - is breathtakingly beautiful. Kids will likely be entertained by a good bit of it, but the lack of more concise, emotional narrative holds the movie back from true promise.